All the Pretty Little Horses
by Opal
Summary: Sauron is getting fed up with the black riders; they just KEEP screwing up. So he's hired some more.. rather confused personel. *note* this story has not-quite-so-much to do with horses.. the title may be rather deceptive.
1. Pretty Horses, and Pretty Bad Decisions

"Deal then?"  
"Yuh huh!"   
  
"Rachel, what was that?"  
"Je ne se pais."  
  
  
Off of a ship, stepped a group of strange looking young women. The elf who was watching the docks sat up in surprise. No one ever came from across the sea. Much less a group of young female humans.   
  
"Ahem.. Misses, what are you doing in the Grey Havens?" asked the elf, blonde hair sparkling in the sun. He had been reclining, strumming absent mindedly on a lute, but now he was all smiles and business.  
  
"Do you have horses waiting for us?" asked a short girl with black hair. She was, maybe five feet and a few inches. Significantly shorter than the elf.  
  
"No, Lady, I'm afraid we don't have any hor.." he stopped, as a long line of black horses, with beautiful leather saddles and harnesses with silver decorations, galloped onto the dock. All were groomed to perfection, and lovely creatures, and all were riderless.   
  
"Ah. Here they are." Said another girl, with red hair. "Thank you for your time."   
  
  
  
Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin entered the town of Bree. They were in the middle of their great quest to escort the Ring of Power to Rivendell. They walked into the Inn, and didn't see the shadows that watched them, oh so carefully.   
  
  
  
The horses, now each with a young woman mounted on them, were speeding down the narrow roads west of the Shire. They found it easy to converse while riding, by and large. One girl, however, was having problems with the mode of transportation. A short, petite Chinese woman, who was flailing wildly to remain on her horse.   
  
"Meg?" asked a brown haired girl, who wore a ponytail, asked of the red head.   
  
"yes? Lissa?" Meg said, as she veered her horse slightly to the right to avoid a rock on the road.   
  
"Umm… where are we going?" Lissa asked, clutching the reins of her beast tightly. She looked forward to Meg, who was, along with two other girls, leading the pack of horses.   
  
"The man said to go to 'Amon Sûl'. Whatever that is." Meg said. "East, and look for a hill higher than the others."   
  
"There are lots of hills here…" Lissa said, glancing upwards.  
  
"We haven't gone far east enough." Meg replied, and spurred her beast to a faster pace.   
  
Lissa was left in a stream of dust, to wonder where the heck they were going. So she let herself fall back until she was even with the two, shorter girls who were struggling to keep astride their horses.   
  
"Lissa!" one called, as she narrowly swerved to miss a fallen tree. "Why do we have to ride these horses??"   
  
"YOU agreed to it Rachel. Not me." Lissa said, a stern glare rising from her normally sunny countenance to freeze the air between her and Rachel, the Chinese girl with the equine crisis.   
  
"You LET me agree to it." Rachel said. She closed the matter then and there, and though, throughout the entire ordeal, the girls would secretly blame her, they could say nothing. She had an infallible argument.   
  
A/N:: this is.. oh, how to explain this complete lack of sense? it's just my inspiration... XD!  
everything but the nine girls belongs to LOTR and JRR Tolkein. Girls belong to themselves. 


	2. Pain the Butt. Literally.

A/N: this is even scarier now.. ^^;; there is another chapter coming up DIRECTLY! just wanted to break them up for reading ease!  
  
Back in Bree, the storyline was advancing nicely; no changes, really. Although some riders in black were seen, in the evening, to be arguing at the front gate. It was, best as any could follow, and argument pertaining to the bad personnel choices their employer, or "dark master" had made recently.   
  
  
  
Things continued. Hobbits got drunk, found Strider and avoided death. They set out through unpleasant marshes, missed second breakfast and the other consecutive meals, and eventually found themselves at Weathertop Hill, the watchtower of Amon Sûl. And riders in black advanced on them.   
  
  
  
Other riders in black were still lost, or, as Meg and Katherine preferred, "locationally challenged."   
  
The girls were still riding. They'd managed to get through the Shire, but not without one member of the party stopping and drooling over attractive hobbits. Now, they were moving as fast as they possibly could manage, although, fairly enough, that was slow. Rachel was complaining that the horsy was giving her a sore butt. Two eerily similar looking brown haired girls were captivated by the scenery they passed in whirlwind speed. That, and the animals they seemed to encounter at even the slightest stop.   
  
The brunettes, who were, coincidentally, named Alice and Jenny, were demanding such a stop now. "I want to pet the rabbits!" Alice yelled across the windy road. The three in front, who were dictating stop time, ignored her. Katherine, queen of the navigation, was in a raging temper. Meg was frantically looking for some sign of being in the right area. And Erin, the third front girl, was concentrating on making her horse do tricks.   
  
"We've got to be around that hill.. It's here somewhere!" Meg yelled, as she pulled her horse short. The entire group screeched to a halt, if it was possible for horses to screech.   
  
"Umm. Meg?" Hannah, the girl who fancied the hobbits, was looking away across the flatlands. Meg looked up from where she was hissing arguments back and forth with Katherine. "Is.. that it?" Hannah pointed to a huge hill; very near by, and coincidentally, just what Meg had been looking for. The red head said nothing. Just spurred her horse onwards, towards Amon Sûl.   
  
Rachel lagged behind for a moment, and cried out to the sky. "But my butt hurts!" 


	3. Magic Ring, Please?

Amon Sûl, later that day. Strider and the various Hobbits have just pitched camp on the slopes of the great hill. In the fading light, they realize black riders are closing in on them, and prepare to fight.   
Out in the darkness, as shadows that repel light sneak closer and closer, a whisper is heard. "Aren't they supposed to meet us here?"  
Answered by another gravel voiced whisperer. "Oh well. Not our fault."   
Black Rider shadows attacked in the darkness. Being as generally stupid as he possibly can, Frodo slips on the ring. The wraiths see him, and skewer him with evil blade; then are set on fire and leave in disgrace.   
The sun rises. Frodo, hovered over by concerned hobbit friends, is very injured. As Strider leaves to find medicine, the beats of many hooves are heard, circling Weathertop Hill.   
"What do you suppose THAT is..?" Sam the Hobbit asks in general confusion. The hoofbeats drew nearer.   
"You don't think.. not more Black Riders..?" Merry, watching Frodo's condition carefully, listened to the noises. That were coming closer and closer to the hollow. Pippin was still oblivious.   
And, confirming the worst fears of the two conscious and perceptive hobbits into the glen, in rode nine very large, very black and very threatening horses. Sam threw himself over Frodo and began screaming. Merry eeped. Pippin asked if anyone else wanted tomatoes. Which he said with a delightful accent.   
But, instead of heavy booted feet and raspy breaths, the Hobbits heard youthful voices. And laughter.   
"Ooo. Are you a hobbit?" one voice asked from above. Sam looked up to see a young girl's face peering over one of the closest horses' manes.   
"Ummm.. yes…" Sam said, in thorough bewilderment. Frodo began to wake up. A sleeping hobbit can only take SO much noise, after all.   
Another girl, one with red hair peered over a second horse. "Is one of you Frodo Baggins?"   
"Urrrhhh… yes.." the half asleep Frodo mumbled this as he opened his eyes.   
"Can we have your magic ring?" asked the first girl, who had olive colored skin, and deep black hair and eyes.   
"No." Frodo, who was regaining some sensibility, said.   
"Oh."   
"Meeting!" Called one girl, from farther back in the clump of horses. And the hobbits watched, amazed, as the horsemen; err, horsewomen, hopped right off their beasts, and made a tight circle. Whispers drifted out. "well? What do we do now?"  
"I feel like getting mexican food." "How are we supposed to..?" "No way!"   
Things continued on that way for a few minutes. Pippin fried his second breakfast, and passed some bacon to Frodo, who still looked pale.   
A girl, with long brownish hair, peered out of the huddle at Frodo. A few more, mostly brunettes, looked after her. They whispered feverishly for a few more seconds.   
Finally, the huddle broke. "I don't want to kill them!" called the girl who had first looked at the hobbits. "They're too cute!"   
Katherine glared at her. "Hann-ah!"   
"Whaaaat?" Hannah asked. "I don't think that ring matters too much anyway!"   
"How do you know about my ring?" Frodo asked.   
"Oh. This big scary fellow asked us to come and kill you and bring it back to him." Said the one who had first spoken. "I'm Rachel."   
The three aware hobbits looked at the girls with the most befuddled stares known to middle earth.   
"But we don't want to." Said another girl, a brunette; Erin. 


End file.
